


Y'know, we used to be lovers

by Mertrash



Category: Homestuck
Genre: A sad attempt at trying to get back together, Angst, Break Up, Dirk and Hal aren't related in this, Exes, Hal's a human, M/M, Post-Break Up, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 07:35:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12601524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mertrash/pseuds/Mertrash
Summary: “Hal, listen,” there was a quiet sigh and a momentary pause before orange hues met his own red, and while Dirk’s face gave away nothing, those eyes told a different story.A story he didn’t want to read.





	Y'know, we used to be lovers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [quenive](https://archiveofourown.org/users/quenive/gifts).



  
  


“Y’know, once upon a time we were lovers, you and I.”

 

He took a drag of a cigarette, eyes closing during the extended inhale before they finally opened, glancing over at the other while exhaling smoke.

 

“I know, and I regret it all. Maybe, just maybe, once upon a time it was love-- but that time was ages ago, Hal.” He’d already heard it coming, he’d already recited this moment dozens of times and even now, he was still hopeful. What else could he be? He couldn’t just give up something he’d yearned for, something he couldn’t live without, he couldn’t just give up, could he?

 

“If it was once love then can’t it be love again? C’mon, I thought you didn’t believe in ‘sparks’, right, Dirk? Love isn’t about some spark, love is something you gotta work towards even when it does get rough-- this is love. It seems you’re forgetting that love is something we both have to work at, key word? Both, us, we have to work on this. I need you to help me, Dirk.” Within seconds it was coming, he was pleading. That hint of desperation had surfaced within only mere moments of conversation and already, he was pathetic.

 

His cigarette wasn’t of any importance anymore, it’d only been used as a distraction when bringing this up, now it was limp in his hand, his gaze focused on the blonde beside him, carefully watching Dirk’s expression. He was doing it again, playing it cool despite all of the emotions that face could be showing, all of those emotions Dirk had opened up to him, those emotions he knew that had to be lurking within him somewhere-- he was masking them, as though they’d never been. 

 

Dirk was shutting him out, like everyone else.

 

“Hal, listen,” there was a quiet sigh and a momentary pause before orange hues met his own red, and while Dirk’s face gave away nothing, those eyes told a different story. 

 

A story he didn’t want to read.

 

“I know what I said, and I mean it. I still don’t believe in sparks but even then, I know when something is dead, alright? Look, me and you can still be chill and all but you gotta stop with..” he scrambled for a word for a moment, body turning to face Hal, “..with this. I know we used to have something but we don’t anymore, no offense but dude, you weren’t any good for me. We’ve only been apart for a few months and guess what? I’m doing better for once, I’m actually not a total piece of shit like I thought I was, I, I have a chance, y’know? I can focus more on my own crap and I know it sucks, and maybe it is selfish but sometimes you just gotta be selfish in life, I am doing better without you.” 

 

There it was, served fuckin’ cold but the worst part of this dish? He’d already tasted it, he already knew everything Dirk had just told him, he could already see improvements in Dirk’s mental health just a few short months, he knew the other had been focusing more on himself, he knew things were getting better for him but to hear it? From Dirk himself? It sure did sting, with ‘sting’ being a severe understatement.

 

For a good long moment, Hal couldn’t reply to that. Instead he just stared at those eyes, those orange hues were so honest, so revealing. It was no surprise Dirk kept them hidden away so often, huh? His own eyes were scanning over Dirk’s, searching for any signs that he wasn’t being true to himself, that there was any regret, anything he could latch onto but the best he got, an emotion that dampened his own heart, was pity. Dirk did feel bad for him, huh? 

 

But not bad enough to stay.

 

“It is selfish.” Hal finally spoke, tone coming out surprisingly harsh, enough so to cause his eyes to briefly widen before he turned his head aside, taking a moment to take the quickest drag of his cigarette before tossing it down onto the ground, stomping on it.

 

“It seems we’re the same when it comes to being selfish, huh? Don’t worry, I’m selfish too, Dirk. Guess you’re just a bit more selfish than me in the long-run, and while it pains me to say this, it seems that you’re right.” He raised his foot just a bit, eyeing the crumpled cigarette for only a moment. 

 

That was his heart, right there, fuckin’ wasted.

 

He stood there for a few more moments, was he waiting for something to be said, or to say something? Hal himself wasn’t so sure but in the end, he had been waiting for Dirk to say something, anything, but finally he had to turn away.

 

One step, two steps, three steps, four.

 

“So, are we still going to be chill at all?” Dirk finally broke the silence but at that point, there wasn’t a point. Hal only paused for but a few seconds, considering glancing back but instead forcing his gaze forward, giving the smallest shakes of his head to himself.

 

“You never wanted to be chill in the first place, Dirk.” _'You never called after we broke up, you never messaged, you never asked to hang out, you never send me any memes like you used to, you never even checked up on me, you completely ditched me, you were done with me the moment you called our relationship off. You were all I even had, you knew that, and I know I fucked up, I know I made some mistakes and really fucked you over but deep down, deep down don’t you think I was trying? Couldn’t you have at least messaged me? You know I have no one else, you knew this, I told you this, I told you everything and in the end, this is how it is? I know I was toxic and I am sorry, Dirk, I am so so sorry but I was afraid of this, you knew that._

_ You knew that, so I guess we were never chill, huh? Or at least, I guess you never planned on staying chill.  _

 

_ You could’ve at least been honest because maybe then, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.' _

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> i wasn't sure to gift this to the person i gifted it to because i dont think he will appreciate the fact they bRoKe uP and that it wasn't healthy but yknow what too bad because he inspires me a lot and tbh i probably would completely give up on writing if it werent for him and i love!! reading their stuff so ha they get this <3 plus he got me into dirkhal in the first place so mwah
> 
> also im tired and ive been sick and due to work and school i havent really had the chance to write but wow today i had a chance and i?? wrote?? stuff?? what in tarnation. who even AM i. who is this person who actually did something instead of being lazy?? sorry the old me cant come to the phone right now, why? oh bc she's being productive for once lmao ikr?? who even is she oh yeah shes that person who has supportive friends who motivate her so again thanks for having faith in me, tbh thats all i need <3


End file.
